We Stand In Awe

On January 17 Eric and I committed to praying every night for a week about bringing home a little girl from China to complete our family.  We prayed that God would make his will known and that if this was his timing he would make that clear.  After a week of laying our request at his feet we felt led to begin the journey to a little girl in China.

As we began paper chasing everything seemed to move at warp speeds. Every time we turned around there was another approval that just happened faster than the norm.  After one of our many quick approvals Eric said "God is up to something here!"  Our paperwork was complete and just needed to be authenticated in Washington when we got word that two of our documents were rejected.  One of our notaries had put 2011 instead of 2012 on two of our documents.  This would push our Dossier going to China a week later.  This in turn seemed that it would cause us to miss a possibility of being match off the May list of little ones being released for adoption.  I told Eric I felt like we had totally seen God's hand moving this paperwork along but also saw this little hick up as part of his plan.  I felt like our little girl wasn't on the May list and totally felt at peace about trusting that he already knew who our daughter was going to be.  Our Dossier went to China on May 18 and we now were waiting for a LID(log in date).  Your paperwork needs to be logged in to China before you can be matched with a child of this specific list. The lists had typically been released the 3rd Monday of the month but we found out it was going to be released a week later.  On Friday, May 25 I checked with our agency to see if we had a LID.  They said they had checked and we didn't.  It was typically taking about 2 weeks for a LID.   Monday night the list of kids was being released. Since Monday was a holiday we didn't know that our agency had indeed gotten our LID.

On Tuesday afternoon at 2:11 we got a call that blew us away. There was a little girl in China that God had clearly hand picked to be our daughter and he very clearly paved the way to her.  He moved every piece of paperwork knowing our little girl was being released for adoption on May 29. I wish I could say the rest of the afternoon was straight out of a fairy tale ... because that is of course what I envisioned.  Eric would run home we would sit on the couch together and open her file and see our daughter for the first time.  We would pour over her file and fall in love with her. I love how once again God showed up and made me see the non fairy tale version as part of his plan.  Eric had an emotionally draining and crazy stressful day and was on the phone with some highly stressed clients.  His crazy, anxious wife who was totally in shock and kept calling him, texting him and heytelling him because she had just received a call from their agency that they had a little girl's file to look at.  She sat with an email on her computer of a file with the information and picture of their little girl.  He got off his highly stressful call that had turned even more stressful due to all the beeping his phone was doing due to his crazy, emotional wife and called his wife.  The emotions were running wild on both sides when the conversation started but were calmed down as I emailed our daughters file to Eric. Over the phone we both looked at her picture and file and knew without a shadow of a doubt that God had orchestrated every piece of her beautiful story. We fell in love with her the minute we saw her. By the time we were finally face to face we both had put ourselves in the other person's shoes and apologies came quickly along with tears ... we had a daughter.  I love how God showed up on a highly emotional and stressful day and gave us the gift of a daughter.  I love how the fairytale I had envisioned of the call and seeing our daughter for the first time was far from a fairytale version and yet it was beautiful in it's own way as God softened both of our hearts toward each others actions that day! This is life ... it is crazy, it is hard and yet there is beauty amidst all of it.

I think so often after a situation has passed and maybe even months or years later we see how God was at work in a situation.  I love how God has given us the gift of seeing his hand so clearly in every step of our journey to our daughter.  We have no idea what is to come, what joys or what hurdles there are in this journey but we know he has us in his hands. We rest in that!

We continue to see God's fingerprints all over our little girl.  In the midst of the pain and sadness surfacing that my best friend, that was killed two years ago in a car accident wasn't here to call and share this journey with us her mom quickly pointed out my little girl shares her daughter's birthday.  What  a gift in the midst of missing her like crazy! She also shares the name An Na with one of our dear friends little girls. Maybe they seem small but they are blessings in disguise after the journey of grief we have been on the last two year.

The song "I Stand In Awe Of You" has been playing over and over in my head lately.  I came across these verses in Psalm yesterday in my devotions.

Let all the earth fear the LORD;

let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!

For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm.

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;

he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

The counsel of the LORD stands forever,

the plans of his heart to all generations.

(Psalm 33:8-11 ESV)

Here is an expert from my devotions:

Have you ever been blown away by something? Watching Michael Jordon doing a dunk, the sunset in Hawaii, Isaac Stern playing Beethoven’s Sonata in C Minor on his violin, the Rocky Mountains; these are just a few things that can inspire. But the Psalmist writes of something much greater than any mountain majesty. He writes of the majesty that created the mountain. He shares, “The LORD merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.” His conclusion was, “Let the whole world fear the LORD.” What about you? When is the last time you stopped and stood in awe of God? When have you let your mind go and just bask in His greatness, His power and His infiniteness? No one can do it for you. The good news is, it’s easier than you think. Just stop. Close your eyes and whisper, “How mighty You are, dear God.” Let it sink in and add, “I stand in awe of You, almighty Lord.” Then wait. Muse on Him. Pause and let the majesty of God flood your soul. Meditate; He is awesome, He is mighty, He loves you. Today, stand in awe of Him.

These words couldn't have been more perfect .... when is the last time you have taken the time and stood in awe of Him?

More to come on the kids reaction to their sister and what we have learned about our little girl and where God has her right now!